Real Changes

It’s been about 15 months since we started this journey of fostering, and it has been quite the roller coaster ride.  I feel like so much is happening all the time, yet nothing really changes.  At least not the big changes that people seem to expect when they ask about the girls.  But we’re about to finally have a big change… one of our babies is going home this week.

I know I haven’t posted in awhile, but I’ve definitely lost the right to call the girls babies.  S is eighteen months and sometimes figures things out quicker than 3 year old Keragan.  She’s been walking for more than half the time we’ve had her, and is definitely a headstrong toddler.  J (we’ll call her Jia since Baby J doesn’t fit anymore!) is sixteen months, and is still in her role as baby of the family, but she’s developing quite the personality and gets very upset when the “big girls” leave her behind.  She’s naturally a cuddler and has only very recently begun to discover her independence, so it’s easy to treat her like a baby still.

Back to the change… this week, exactly one year to the day we got her, S will be going home.  Well, I should say to her new home.  A relative came forward just as they were about to terminate parental rights and put her up for adoption, and they have been building a relationship.  All of the paperwork is done and it seems like a solid match, so she’ll be moving permanently in two days.  To be honest, we always knew this day would come.  Biological family has always been involved in the case to some extent and we didn’t really even allow ourselves to seriously think about adoption because of it.  I think that makes this transition a little easier.  We’ve gotten to know these relatives and I really do believe it’ll be a good home for S. 

Not only is this going to be a big change for S, but also for the rest of us.  S has been the dominant personality in our home for the past year.   While we love her, she can be quite exhausting as she demands attention frequently from each of us.  We’ve had chances to see our home without her as she’s been doing weekend visits with relatives, and it’s so calm and quiet!  It’s also been interesting to see Jia come out of her shell when she’s not in S’s shadow. 

Keragan is probably the one who has been affected the most by all of this.  I imagine it has to be confusing to have her sister coming and going so much.  I don’t think she really remembers a time when the girls didn’t live with us, so she’s asking questions.  We try to answer them the best we can to help her understand, but she’s had a lot of anxiety that I feel is related.  Understandably.  All we can do is reassure her that she’s not going anywhere.

The change couldn’t come at a better time, in my opinion.  We had planned a short vacation at the end of this week, and it’ll be a great distraction for Keragan and Jia.  It’ll also be a good time to regroup and solidify our new, smaller family and relax and have fun.  The summer is flying by so quickly that I know it’ll be over before we know it.

We’ve decided to take a short break from fostering for the summer.  We’re keeping Jia, but not accepting any new placements for at least a month.  This’ll give us a chance to catch up on some things that we’ve fallen behind on and enjoy the freedom that  having only two kids brings!  Having three kids, especially so close in age and so young, was a real challenge for us, and I’m looking forward to a break.