Inconsistency

I like to pretend that I can "go with the flow" of things, and don't need a set schedule or definite plans. But the reality is, I like definite answers. And set plans. I always knew that my life would change when we had kids. And I was fine with that. But what's been so hard for me this far is the lack of answers. Even if we get answers, there is a lack of consistency depending on who I talk to.
There has been a big debate about just how early Keragan was. Her birth mom didn't have any prenatal care, and didn't have any clue how far along she was. When we got the call, her records indicated that she was born at 33-34 weeks. However, depending who you talk to (3 different doctors and about 12 nurses), they each have their own opinion ranging from 28-34 weeks. In the long run it doesn't matter, but for right now we need to get past this premature apnea, which can take until 44 weeks. Yes, 44 weeks. She's 6 weeks old, so she's anywhere from 34-40 weeks gestation, which means 4-10 more weeks to go. Four to 10 more weeks?!?! Three weeks ago they said 2-4 weeks!
Everything, from feeding to burping to how to handle her episodes to what is considered an episode, varies based on who is there for the day. One says to pull the bottle out of her mouth when she needs to breathe, the next says to leave it in because she needs to learn.
Patience isn't really a problem for me. If we need to be here 10 weeks, I'll deal with it. If I'm doing something wrong, i'll take the correction and adapt. But I want to know what's right!! Give me a date, and I'll be fine. Give me one way to diaper, feed, burp, etc and I'll handle it. My flexibility (or lack of) is really being tested with the lack of consistency between doctors and nurses.
Ugh... As you may have guessed, I like structure. And sometimes I wonder if Kera would do better if she had more structure. Today was one of those days where she just didn't do well. Nothing was wrong, so to speak, she just didn't want to eat much, her monitors were constantly beeping, and she just wasn't as smily as usual. After trying the 4th method of feeding that I had been taught, I had to think how annoyed I would be with all the different ways she is fed. Nurses use different nipples, different methods, different positions. Maybe she is more like me than I think. It gave me a stronger desire to bring some consistency into her life in the way I do things. Not trying to conform to that day's nurse's preference, but what I've found works the best.
Anyway, I didn't get many pictures today, but here's one. If you made it the whole way through this post you deserve a lot more pics than this, but hopefully tomorrow is a better day and with more pics.